She's got Greta Garbo's stand-up sighs....

I think I should rename this blog, 'Observations of a Woman in her 30s'. Or 'Cane Shaking'. Because what I really want to talk about is what the young kids are wearing these days. If I could give one bit of advice, surprisingly it would not be to avoid crazy 'out there' clothes. Cause Lord knows I loves me some 'out there' clothing. No, it would be this: Know Your Body.

Today, I came across these three young women out shopping who were all wearing identical black, cuffed, ballooned short shorts (no lie - the 80s live and breathe down here in Godzone). I wanted to pull one of them aside and give her a life lesson:

Ok, look. When you're deciding to go out with your mates in matching short shorts, remember this: Just by the numbers, one of you has better legs than the other two. And it is altogether likely that that person is probably the one who suggested these matching outfits, because it makes her look good for you to look bad and, lets face it, girls are mean. You should ask yourself, was this outfit my idea? If not, you may have fallen prey to the oldest trick in the Mean Girls Toolkit - the Better by Comparison bait and switch. So next time you think about putting on those short shorts, take a moment to reflect on God's cruel gift of early onset, genetic cellulite and Know Your Body. And for pity's sake, put on a sweater. You'll catch your death with your bosoms hanging out like that.

*shakes cane*