Don't speak, I know just what you're thinking
So I recently went to Auckland for a conference for work and my first impression was that the weather is so good it’s easy to forget what a soul-destroying city it is. And the inhabitants there walk down the street carefree, completely oblivious to how good they have it, weather-wise, and how truly bad it could be.
In Wellington, we are bonded by the persistently terrible weather, inextricably linked through a life lived enduring most of the year in gale force winds, sometimes with bonus sideways rain.
It is that bond that makes it okay to go to a meeting with terrible hair or rain-soaked trousers because, after all, it’s Wellington.
Anyway, I came away from the conference with the same feeling I have coming away from most conferences. Which is to say that most public speakers should not be doing public speaking. I have the following tips to offer:
Number one, and this cannot be said enough, do not run over time. I have the same feelings about people who are late. It is rude, and unspeakably so. It says to all that are listening to you, “I don’t care about you or your time. I know you have a scheduled tea break and I don’t care. I don’t think you need a break as much as you need to listen to me.” Worse yet, it is incredibly rude to all speakers who follow you. It says, “I know we’ve both been booked for the same conference, but I am more important than you and my words must be heard.” It puts a subsequent speaker in the unenviable position of cutting their own presentation short or, worse yet, cutting into my tea break, which is rude for the reasons previously stated.
Second, for the love of God, please have some form of visual aid. I cannot abide watching you and only you for an hour without something to distract me and keep me entertained. I don’t care how many useless awards I’ve never heard of that you have won or how respected you are. I’ll say it again, if you are not Barack Obama, I will not be able to pay attention to you for that length of time without a visual aid.
Related to that, please do not stand up there and read your paper. I have your paper and I can read your paper. At the end of the day, you have hopefully been brought before me because you have something to add beyond your paper. Otherwise, why did I get up at oh-dark-thirty to fly here and listen to you speak when I could have just downloaded your paper?
And to bring it back home, if you are so useless as a public speaker that you have nothing more to offer than standing in front of me reading your paper, please for the love of all that is holy, do not run over time. Your paper is a known quantity. Your allowable time is a know quantity. You have several advanced degrees and you should be able to make these two things match.
And thus concludes Public Speaking In A Nutshell.
In Wellington, we are bonded by the persistently terrible weather, inextricably linked through a life lived enduring most of the year in gale force winds, sometimes with bonus sideways rain.
It is that bond that makes it okay to go to a meeting with terrible hair or rain-soaked trousers because, after all, it’s Wellington.
Anyway, I came away from the conference with the same feeling I have coming away from most conferences. Which is to say that most public speakers should not be doing public speaking. I have the following tips to offer:
Number one, and this cannot be said enough, do not run over time. I have the same feelings about people who are late. It is rude, and unspeakably so. It says to all that are listening to you, “I don’t care about you or your time. I know you have a scheduled tea break and I don’t care. I don’t think you need a break as much as you need to listen to me.” Worse yet, it is incredibly rude to all speakers who follow you. It says, “I know we’ve both been booked for the same conference, but I am more important than you and my words must be heard.” It puts a subsequent speaker in the unenviable position of cutting their own presentation short or, worse yet, cutting into my tea break, which is rude for the reasons previously stated.
Second, for the love of God, please have some form of visual aid. I cannot abide watching you and only you for an hour without something to distract me and keep me entertained. I don’t care how many useless awards I’ve never heard of that you have won or how respected you are. I’ll say it again, if you are not Barack Obama, I will not be able to pay attention to you for that length of time without a visual aid.
Related to that, please do not stand up there and read your paper. I have your paper and I can read your paper. At the end of the day, you have hopefully been brought before me because you have something to add beyond your paper. Otherwise, why did I get up at oh-dark-thirty to fly here and listen to you speak when I could have just downloaded your paper?
And to bring it back home, if you are so useless as a public speaker that you have nothing more to offer than standing in front of me reading your paper, please for the love of all that is holy, do not run over time. Your paper is a known quantity. Your allowable time is a know quantity. You have several advanced degrees and you should be able to make these two things match.
And thus concludes Public Speaking In A Nutshell.
posted by E. at
4:38 AM
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